Hearts of Controversy

I love how you feel when your next to me.

                                                        Your slow steady breathing, Heart rhythmically beating.

                                                        Heaven sweetest lullabye making me doze off to sleep.

                                                                        I don't want to close my eyes.

                                                                      My dreams could never rival reality.

                                                                 Nothing can amount to what Ihave with you.

                                                                    I love how I feel when I'm next to you.

im in chicago right now!!! woot woot. i've wanted to come here for the longest time... i love this place without even being here and seeing everything. im here to get my senior pictures taken....EXCITED. well gotta go love you all!!

                                                                                                                     -Bedussey

im at melanies bored so i thought id for once post a pointless journal.. well they are all pointless but this one is for real. tuesday is my day for warped tour. if you went drop me a note or message me on how it was. well TTFN. Bedussey

       
 I am sorry if i was ever a lousy friend. My flaws have me out-numbered by the billions. I could have asked for a better friend but then i wouldn't have had the amazing fun i did with you. You were there for me when i thought god had disappeard.

                  
I HATE the way he makes me feel. so torn and shattered. I have to hate him to feel better. the anvil on my chest. I am completely in love with him . no denial. i need help hating him and remove the anvil that makes me short of breath. hes created a monster and now he cant destroy me.He makes my head dance and twirl. but i like it cause i go back for more. Im getting used to feeling heart broken all the time. The confusion is overwhelming and i almost cant take it. hes finally happy and i want to take him from that. im so selfish.

i do it to myself ^^  i feel like i have no place. like i mean nothing to anyone. Everyone ignores me. Have i done something wrong? i know...... i was born . ha .  i may seem happy (go-lucky) but you have yet to see my insides. no everythings not ok if you must know. im lost ,running in circles. going through the same SHIT every day. and yes i've tried to change it but if i had succeeded would i be writing like this now? probably not. ive screwed up i know you dont have to tell me i live it everyday. i live my life in regret , i heard somewhere your not surposta do that? oh well never seemed to kill anyone...... just everyone. Im addicted to music it takes away the pain (for a while). you ever hear the boys like girls song me ,you , & my medication "were all addicted to something that takes away the pain" thats me.

His eyes are enthralling

His words eloquent

Talent beyond the grasp of others

His lips are seductive

His mind off kilter

Wit like no other

With a smile that sends you into cardiogenic shock.

He writes of a love he can't get over

Thinking no one will understand

He talks about death 

Wishing for the end

Has tried himself to find it.

Don't leave us on such a sour note pete

What you leave behind stops just short of a legend

Your cunning tounge has gotten you this far

Don't turn back now.

                                                            Love You A Bunch, Me

 

 

 

Loves got nothing to do with it its all in your head. Foolish people are how the world gets off. Arrogance starts at your head ,dont blame me. To know where you want to go you have to go to where you dont. HEART HALF EMPTY. There is nothing that hasnt already been said in one way or another (and yet pete always finds ways).When life gives you lemons................................squirt someone in the eye. Love Sucks !!!!!!!!!!!

 

life moves to fast to know what to do with it, just jump in some where it all leads to the same place. the ground. Grab someone and hold on tight. Open anothers eyes to a new light. lifes not a party but your on the list. somewhere in there something spectacular happens. no hearts a good heart.  agony and arrogance . Do you ever wonder how someone soooo amazing came to be they get all the good stuff and the rest of us are just kinda there while hes off with another (a clone) a girl who has everything and then some.  you can love someone before knowing them. you move on to something more within your reach because your scared if you reach too far you'll fall over the edge. for me the edge grows farther and farther away every day.but then in other aspects of my life its way to close for comfort. its amazing what love does to a person. i really wish certain people were easier to reach then others but then the whole world would want them and i have a feeling they would feel used. being friend with that person wouldnt satisfy my crave i hate to say it but i'ed want more everyone wants more all the time. you get what you want then you want better but public just keeps creating more and more shit for you to spend money on.you know what makes the world turn....................money cold hard cash. i compare myself to others all the time its not right i know but its only human. "doctor double my dose im going off the deep end........again". big dreams cloud a small head. Ugh ok im running out of t
hings to babble about.

lol i love the name of this pic it was  the first thing i thought of when i saw it and the guy in the background looks like hes pluggin his nose so i thought why not haha *sighs* anymoo im not sure why i do these its not like i ever have anything important to say and if i did would it matter kinda like being in the middle of nowhere you scream and no one hears.but i feel selfish talking about my problems to others i dont know its weird .ok i never did get the whole if a tree fell in the forrest and no one was around to hear it would it make a sound well DUH.

Yeh so tea just came out of my nose oww it hurts(lol). Tomorrows Valentines Day WOOHOO i get to enjoy being single on v-day NOT that shit sucks.Anyways, i forgot what i came here to say haha typical bri after the tea out the nose i just lost it.oh i almost bought this magazine at Hot Topic but i didnt stupid me OHH i remember what i was gunna say i FINALLY got my Clandestine Take it away.. Hoodie yesterday i was sooo happy

Hey i bought the new Fall Out Boy cd AMAHZING!!!!...some good advise BUY IT yeh go out now right now why are you still here you should be at a store buy it Infinity On High get it now.Yeh my life is pretty boring i NEED something to make it more exciting anyone got anything???